Game of Thrones Random Rant - Episode 3x01 (some book spoilers inside)

Ellyce yesterday asked me about the episode, I was going to reply to her via iPad but then I realized it would take me hours to write everything. So I decided to make a post. A long comment about the first episode of Season Three.

Ok let me get this straight: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THE FIRST SCENE?
I mean, we left Sam running (and hiding) for his life and the whole thing starts again with Sam running, a wight chasing him and the guys of the Night’s Watch saving him. What happened in the middle? I heard sword fighting at the beginning. Some of the Brothers are alive, does it mean they killed all of the wights and others we saw at the end of the last episode? Did they retreat because the Brothers were using fire and they got scared? Sam is safe? HOW THE HELL DID HE MANAGE TO SURVIVE?
When Sam is coming back at the beginning of this episode, is coming back from WHERE? They sent him to send ravens? WHERE? AT THE WALL? Don’t they have ravens with them? TRAINED ravens? Did they sent Sam looking for a random raven? WHY? Random ravens are capable of doing nothing. If Sam was sending one of their ravens why he was far away from the rest of the group? And considering maybe there are still wights around, FUCKING MORMONT WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND SOMEONE WITH HIM? Now, in the books Sam actually do his job, I don’t understand why they decided to make him more useless than ever here. Which is the point? Also, WHY THE FUCK YOU DIDN’T ASK HIM WHY HE DIDN’T SEND THE RAVENS? Where they dead? He was so scared he didn’t reach…what? The camp? So where are they know? Weren’t they all at the Fist of the First Men? Did they move so much during the battle? REALLY? O_o
ALSO, GHOST? Buddie, what the hell are you doing there?

As you may have noticed this is only my comment of the first scene, so sit tight, is not going to be over anytime soon.

Ygritte, you are fabulous darling, you should tell Jon bedtime stories about giants cutting off his beautiful hair. I’m sure he would love them. Nightmares behind the Wall. Also, sweetheart, you crush is showing! You adorable adorable woman.
"DON’T LOOK SO GRIM, JON SNOW."
Grim? Darling, that’s HIS NORMAL FACE.

Let’s get into the tent Jon Snow, let me look at Giantsbane beautiful face. I think I’m falling in love with too many people lately. And his voice. GOOD GOD. MY BODY IS READY TORMUND. Mance, I like you. I like you not. Still trying to make up my mind about him. I’ll let you know. But the whole Jon/Mance scene was well played and Jonny-boy I’m so proud.

Now, let me talk to you about THE ONLY SEX SCENE IN THREE SEASONS OF GAME OF THRONES I ACTUALLY WANTED TO SEE AND DIDN’T HAPPEN. What a bummer. I was more pissed than Bronn.

Tyrion/Cersei/Bronn: Guys, you should have more scenes together. Lena is AMAZING as Cersei, and she grows on me with every episode. I actually can’t remember how was the Cersei I had in mind before the series started. She is so perfect, my heart is already breaking for her, knowing what’s coming.
Wow, this episode was so sad. First, Cersei who is afraid Tyrion is going to tell something to their father and her face betrays there for a second. I just wanted to hug her and tell her “Don’t worry honey, no one is going to tell daddy about your little dirty secret”. And then Tyrion, who has no real friends. The only one he has will protect him only if he pays him. That’s one of the saddest scene I ever watched in this show. Oh no wait…the next one with Tywin is actually the worst.

Next is Davos and this scene is beautiful in so many ways…this guy has been stranded on the Spears of the Merling King for many days, hallucinating, and finally someone is coming to the rescue. And when that someone asks him who did he serve during the battle you see hesitation, something you never seen in Davos’s eyes. But that’s why I loved it. I read comment of people that said they don’t like the fact that he didn’t said Stannis name right away. I loved it because he didn’t. Do you remember the scene on the beach with his son? Stannis is his God. The Davos pre-Blackwater would have never had that kind of doubt. But this Davos is different. This Davos lost his son and watched him die right before his eyes. He hallucinated about Gods talking to him while stranded on the island. And while another person would have die at this point to save his life and would have said that Joffrey was his king, he STILL said Stannis. He still didn’t fear death, he thought about it for those few seconds, but he loves Stannis so much he couldn’t betray his loyalty to him. So, maybe you didn’t like the scene because he didn’t reply right away without thinking twice. But I loved it because he didn’t reply blindly, he was keenly aware of what he was doing. And when he finally answer to the man, it sounds more like a declaration of love, than loyalty.
Also, STANNIS YOU SEXY THING WITH THAT BEARD.

The whole Harrenhall scene was just meh for me. The only things I loved were the scenery of course (HARRENHALL I LOVE YOU), the scene between Bolton and Karkstark (lol Roose, YOU SO FUNNY MAN) and QYBURN aka our very own Doctor Frankestein, I can’t wait to see you “at work”.

Now, this scene is awful and I would not like to see it again because I cried for real. Even if I know about the terrible things Tyrion is going to do in the future, still, this scene hit me like a train in the face.

BABY SANSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, look at her learning how to lie and make up stories. She knows this is not just a game, she knows this is a traning, that her ability of lying and make up stories will keep saying her life. And when Shae doesn’t understand and she is almost pissed and replies “Don’t ruin the game”, she is not mad because Shae ruined the game, she is mad because this is important for her. It’s not just a game. It’s her life. And the scene that follows, with Ros and Shae is so sweet, the loyalty and love the Starks ispire is incredible. You can feel it in Ros words. She doesn’t hate this kid who had it all, she loves her like every northerners. Buuuuu GOT give me more Sansa/Ros scenes, let’s give Ros a real purpose.
Now let’s get back to Sansa. Can we talk for a second about her face when that son of a bitch of Petyr lies and tells her about her sister? “Arya’s alive?” OMG BABY, YOUR LOVE IS SHOWING, PUT ON THE MASK AGAIN, HURRY. I’m not crying btw, I have something in my eye.

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DRAGONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! Or should I say dragoN? What the hell? I’ve seen Drogon EVERYWHERE. I’m already sick of him. Can we have a look at the other two please? Are they so ugly you won’t put them on camera? No seriously Dany, it looks like you are the Mother of ONE Dragon.  You are neglecting your other children, you’ll be reported soon to the social services for Rhaegal and Viserion.

Stanniiiiiis, DAVOS IS BACK, LOOK! DAVOS IS BACK! Stannis LOOK! LOOOOOK STANNIS LOOOOOOK! DAMN IT STANNIS WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT HIM? THESE TWO WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME THIS SEASON. I CAN FEEL IT.
Melisandre I like your new wig. That’s it.

Margaery baby, you are amazing, STAY STRONG. Also, why people keep saying she gave the children toys and LITTLE TYRELL SIGILS? Isn’t that bread? I would have pissed if that wasn’t bread honestly, these kids are starving, if your sigil is not good to eat, I don’t want it.
And lol at Joff not understanding why his lady is kissing, hugging and helping dirty children in the streets.
Tommen darling, where are you? Why don’t you eat with your family?
Best bit of the dinner? “But you are your father’s son. We can’t all have a king’s bravery.” And Marg and Loras look at each other like “Yeah which father? Your brother your majesty or the one who fathered a gazillion of bastards?”. I LOVE YOU GUYS, I WANT MORE SCENES LIKE THIS ONE, OK?

And then the last scene, the part of Dany meeting the Unsullied was good, but the best bit was later, when the warlock tries to kill her and the AWESOME BARRISAN SELMY comes to the rescue. And then, you can feel the air smelling differently, because the man next to you Dany, is not only smelling like piss, he’s smelling like shit too once Barristan reveals  himself. And there is a reason for that darling, believe me, and you are not gonna like it.
And when he starts talking directly to her, I swear I start weeping because I waited for this moment for so long and I very much loved how they filmed it. I don’t care they jumped the whole Arstan story, it’s ok either way. This scene was so powerful, and when he admitted that he failed to protect her family I died a bit inside, this man understood that he made the biggest mistake ever and now he only wants another chance to fix things somehow, to help this young queen, and I can’t wait to see his face when he will meet the dragonS (see what I did there? dragonSSSSSS). ALKDHFJGJALDJALFJ I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.

So Ellyce, I liked this episode very much, in case you didn’t notice already. *LOL* Off to bed again, if you need me, you know where to find me!

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  1. samheughan said: ilyyyyyyy <5!
  2. numenorss posted this
LLMNS